How Not To Look Like An Idiot When Travelling

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Photo credit: Flickr / National Maritime Museum

You can’t. It’s impossible.

You could know every single custom, every single thing about the culture, every piece of history and all the latest local gossip, but it doesn’t matter, you are still going to look like an idiot.

Accept it. Move on. And embrace the fact that all the locals are sniggering behind your back.

Now while you will always look like an idiot while travelling, there are ways to stop it being such a huge blaring sign on your forehead.

See what the locals are wearing

This is an important fact to consider when travelling, especially in quite traditionally cultures, for example most of the Middle East and some of Europe. In those countries each gender has a set style of clothing and walking around in shorts when everyone else is wearing long pants is pretty much a dead giveaway that you’re an idiotic tourist.

And really dressing like the locals is just a sign of respect, you would expect people to wear nice clothes to a wedding, it’s the same concept.

For the first day you have leeway, because it’s not like you can buy local clothes when you’re not in the country. But try and make it your first stop when you get there, a lot of people will be willing to help you find some good stores if you ask around. It’s also a good way to meet new people and show that you are really interested in the place you are visiting.

Shut your mouth

Hopefully now you are wearing what the locals are wearing, or at least something that doesn’t shout tourist at the top of its lungs. Now after that the fastest, quickest and most reliable way to never look like an idiot when travelling is to never open your mouth.

That’s right, no talking.

I understand that may be a bit difficult for some people. Well a lot of people really, because most of the time travel is about meeting the locals and talking. But if you don’t want to look like an idiot well this is the only way to do it. Even if you don’t end up saying something ridiculous to offend people, you’re accent will give you away.

Your accent, depending on what country you’re from, could be your biggest stumbling block. I’m Australian myself and thankfully around the world Australians have the reputation of being fun, friendly and hard workers so my accent doesn’t work against me. Most of the time it works for me, as a great ice breaker as whenever I open my mouth, people ask where I’m from.

But, for a lot of other countries this isn’t the case. And when travelling it doesn’t matter if you agree with what your country is doing or who’s in charge, you’re a spokesperson for your country. And if you meet someone you doesn’t like your country, in their eyes you are that country. Which means that they will start to complain about your country to you and expect you listen to what they have to say.

It’s not fair, it’s sometimes quite weird, but you have to expect it. So going back to the original point not opening your mouth and giving away your accent is a good way to avoid this.

You are dressed like a local and are planning on completely ignoring my advice about not talking, that’s fine as long as you do a couple of things. So for those who need it, here are a few other options and ways not to look like an idiot when travelling.

Listen.

Find out what the locals are talking about, who has ticked them off; it’s the fastest way to learn the local culture. Find out what burns their waffles and either start a conversation about it, or file it away as something never to talk about.

Learn some history.

There is nothing more idiotic than a tourist coming into the country and not knowing a thing about the history, landmarks or anything.

You would expect anyone coming to your country to know at least something about your history and culture, so why should it be any different when you go somewhere.

It also stand to reason that if you don’t know anything about the history of the country, the landmarks, the events, why exactly are you travelling in the first place?

Don’t expect everything to be the same as home

Everyone understands this concept in theory, but it’s surprising how little it actually sinks into people’s brain before they travel.

One of the main reasons you travel is to get away from the familiar and experience a new culture. But then culture shock sets in and everything is strange and weird and it shouldn’t be, it should be exactly like home.

In some countries littering is the norm, they spit in the sidewalks and no one cares and they smoke everywhere.

You may hate the smoke, the spitting and the littering but please whatever you do don’t expect them to change their way of life just because you are there. Which is exactly what you are doing when you wish the country you are in is like home.

Don’t try and impose your beliefs on other people, it’s arrogant, pointless and the fastest way to look like an idiot and make a great number of new enemies.

So you are dressed like a local, aren’t talking or at least listening before you start talking, know the history and don’t expect anything to be like home. You are ready to start travelling.

Well done. You will still look like an idiot when travelling overseas.

But that’s okay, you’re a tourist and you’re allowed to look like an idiot.