How To Deal With Customs

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Photo credit: Flickr / Cote

They don’t like people, those customs officers, that’s the first thing to remember when dealing with customs, they are like retail workers who never get a break and everyone knows that a retail worker is never happy.

But the thing about retail workers is that if the boss isn’t looking, they can ignore the big pack that may or may not have products that they haven’t paid for in there.

In customs if they don’t check those packs and somehow something dangerous gets on that flight, then you can bet that eventually it will get back to the customs officer who let them through, and that means bye bye for that officer.

I think what everyone needs to remember is that being customs officer would have to be the worst job in the world. For a start they are always in the airport, but they never get to fly anywhere and the airports are always open. They have to talk with people from all over the world (that’s a bit of a good and a bad point), they have to stop people who look dodgy and check them, the passports have to be right, and if they aren’t, they have to tell the people that they can’t actually travel anywhere because they stupidly forgot their visas.

Keeping that in mind I would like to offer this one piece of advice, please if you only remember one thing from this article, then let this be it. Be nice to customs officers.

They have got, like mentioned, one of the worst jobs in the world, and really your politeness will make them more receptive to you and more helpful. Personally I have never worked as a customs officer but I do have a day job in retail and it’s the same principle.

When working, if people look at me like I am dirt under their nose, and still expect me to be helpful to them, or if people start loud arguments with me about price, well, to be honest I almost go out of my way not to help them. But the ones that actually have a smile and address me politely I go out of my way to help them. Sure you are supposed to treat all customers equally, but really would you want to help the person who is being a complete idiot to you just because they can?

So remember that when going up to the customs officer.

Another tip when going up to that final window – have your passport out, open it up to your photo page and put your landing or exited card slotted above it. Keep it open and hand it over to the customs officer as soon as you get called.

You are told repeatedly by the guards standing around customs to have your passport open to the right page, sometimes they yell it over the crowd again and again to get their message heard. But people still, and it usually tends to be the person in front of you, don’t do such a thing and as such it holds up the entire line.

Customs officers will love you forever if you do such a simple thing. Just remember, they have a never ending line backed up behind you and imagine how bad it could be if you have to sit, wait and do the same thing over and over again, something that could be avoided if the people coming up to your window had simply listened.

Stay behind the yellow line

Your passport is your one worldwide identity card and you need it. The yellow line was invented so that the only people who see your passport is you and the customs officer. It was invented so you don’t have someone standing incredibly close behind you, breathing down your neck just staring at the most valuable thing that you own.

So listen to the guards and the signs littered around the line and stay behind the yellow line, it’s for your privacy as much as everyone else’s.

Don’t make faces at the guards

Seems like a fairly basic idea, but it’s telling about human kind in general how many people ignore such a simple thought. But if you don’t want to get on the plane and get away from your hometown then by all means pull faces at them, it’s the fastest way there is to get pulled out of the line and strip searched.

If you do it in America when then you can even say goodbye to coming home for a long while, those guards definitely don’t muck around.

The customs line is long

It’s always going to be long. Accept that, because odds are after travelling the world and always having to queue in the longest line because you aren’t a local, the second you get home and you are a local, the local line will be the longest. Because that’s just the way the world works.

Expect a long line, bring out a book to read or just people watch, nothing will make the line go faster and glaring at the customs officer will make sure they only go that much slower, just to spite you.

Make sure you fill out your landing/exiting cards properly

If you get it wrong they could make you go get another one and fill it out properly, thus having to start the line all over again. You have to sign it, date it, and make sure you aren’t doing anything that you shouldn’t be doing. Handing over the correctly filled out card will get you though that customs line that much faster.

Customs Officers don’t care

It’s true. They don’t care where you are going, where you have been or what sort of sob story you have for them. They just want you out of their window so they can put the next person through and hopefully get to lunch that much faster. Know that, embrace it and move on and you won’t have a problem with the customs officers.

Now customs is a necessity that every traveller has to go through at least once in every new country that they enter into. It doesn’t have to be a hassle, just remember, you want to get out of there quickly and the customs officer wants you gone just as quickly.

Have you got any tips to help new travellers deal with customs? Share them below.