But unfortunately for Chirpys somewhere along the way, without even realising it or noticing it they gave in, they stopped trying to escape, they started to listen to the Chirpy that they had long ago learned to tune out. They gave in.

Chirpys are the worst kind of people in the world and must be avoided at all costs. Their sole goal is to make sure you become just like them, to never achieve your own escapee goals, whether it be travelling the world for years at a time, getting out of the real world or just finally going after what you want to do in your life.

Chirpys are the people who are constantly chirping in your ears, pointing out everything that could go wrong with your plans, how you’re not living in the real world and how soon enough you will come crying back to them with your tail between your legs.

Chirpys can take the face of your parents, relatives and friends. They can use emotional arguments to try and guilt you into doing what they want you to do. They are very good at what they do and sometimes they get you in their claws without you even realising it.

Their sole goal in life is to bring you down to their levels, to impose their beliefs over yours because honestly what do you know about anything. You’re just a stupid kid. Not to generalise but in my experience Chirpys are usually older, though that’s not always the case.

They don’t want you to find your dream because they never found theirs, they never had the courage to go out there and get into the world. They couldn’t do it and they had a lot more skills than you, or at least they believe they do, so why should you be able to.

A Chirpy is always finding faults and have now become so firmly entrenced in the real world that they can’t get out and can only find pleasure in snatching people who walk past into the hole with them.

If you think you have found a Chirpy, they may be someone close to you, they may be someone you don’t have a lot of contact with, it doesn’t matter, the only thing you must remember when you think you have come in contact with one of them is to remember this golden rule.

Ignore them.

That’s it. They don’t know what they’re talking about, you know it, the guy across the street knows it and secretly even they know it.

Nod politely at what they are saying, smile, walk away and delete the conversation from your brain. If you don’t say anything they will think they have converted you, which means they won’t continue to bother you and you can walk away and do exactly what you were doing before they interrupted you.

So just remember Chirpys are everywhere around the world and they take on a numerous forms but they are simply rock on the ground, step over them and continue on your escape route.

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There is a lot of things that I don’t understand in this world, the average of 10, astro physics and where exactly Helsinki is (after being forgetful about that more than ten times I finally looked it up and Helsinki is now planted in my brain as being part of Finland. Or is it Stockholm?)

But the one thing that I simply cannot wrap my mind around is why people don’t travel, why they spend their life in one place having a real job in the real world when it is far cheaper to travel the world. We live in an endless consumer driven society that encourages you to buy and buy, but never encourages you to go out and explore the world. You are only expected to find a real job, and start living in the real world.

But getting a real job, in the real world, is not cheap.

You have to find a full time job, something that will take up a lot of your precious time and energy. Then you have to buy new clothes to go with this new real job. An apartment near the real job is soon next, you can’t live with your parents anymore. TV, DVD player, laptop, furniture all the things to fill up that empty apartment comes next as you can’t look like a pauper when your new work friends come to visit.

Nights out, drinks, dinners – new outfits for those nights out, a new flash phone that comes with internet so you can stay connected with those new friends. Movie nights, club nights, social nights they are soon to follow.

Then the car. A flash car has to follow, because you can’t be seen showing up to work in your old red bomb. Parking tickets are next as there is no free parking where you work. Petrol takes up most of your wage.

All of this comes with a real job in the real world. But then this is not enough as you get that flash new shiny credit card and then the real spending begins and you are in debt up to your eyeballs and wonder how in the world people can travel around when it is costing you so much just to stay in one place.

Now that’s a real job in the real world. A real job in the real world costs about $45,000 a year. Now compare that to not having a real job and exploring the world.

Travelling slowly, only catching one flight to start out with, and moving down one continent to the next. Couchsurfing every other week. Working on organic farms for a couple of weeks at a time, not having to pay for food or accommodation. Simply finding entertainment with your hosts and the occasional conversation with the people back home with the real jobs in the real world.

Using public transport to get from one place to another, slow moving trains from one country to another, talking to the people around you or reading a book you haven’t read since childhood.

House sitting with free accommodation – not having to work. Only a couple of days here and there enough to get you to that next place to stay. Enjoying connecting with people instead of sitting bug eyed at the TV not thinking, after another draining day at the office.

Catching flights, travelling around. Talking to the person stocked to have gotten five days off of their real job in the real world, being given dumbfounded glances once you have relived that you have been travelling around for two years.

Working in a place for a couple of hours each day for food and accommodation as your host takes you around your new home. Sitting there peacefully watching the world go by, the uptight people in business suits walking past you to a job that they don’t like.

Not having a real job, not being in the real world and exploring the world. Cost: $14,000 per year.

There are endless Chirpys in the world that will try to tell you differently, spouting out that the only way to go is to have a real job in the real world. But those people have been caught up by their own Chirpys, they have become scared of travel, so do yourself a favour and ignore them.

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Related posts:

1. How Not To Travel The World
2. This Is Why You Will Never Get Out Of The Real World
3. How Not To Live In The Real World